An Introduction to Lookism

by Bob the developer

Disclaimer: The views expressed are my own and do not necessarily represent the views of any businesses affiliated with Soiree Games.

Beauty is not wholly subjective. Universal standards for human aesthetics exist. These standards influence one's quality of life to a considerable degree. A large majority of women would prefer a rugged alpha male over a reflective beta male even if said alpha was a violent psychopath. Humans operate on a genetic level more often than not. Unattractive people are associated with negative traits more often than attractive people. In some cases (celebrity) status helps those men with less than ideal physical attributes (however, confidence never helps unless you are attractive to begin with).
Many females encounter attention from strangers daily. Some if it is surely negative and unwarranted, but the dynamic here is completely and utterly lopsided. Take your time to observe social interaction between strangers: it seems the majority of females are completely oblivious towards the majority of males. This is probably due to the famous Pareto principle, which states that 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. While originally applied mostly in the world of finance, this principle has been observed to cover a wide gamut of fields, including social science. As the traditional initiators of interaction, males are excepted to approach females. This is why the beta problem mostly concerns males. Among the male demographic, there exists an unlucky 80% who have a shot at the bottom 20% of females. On the flipside, 80% of women are viable for the attention of the top-tier 20% of males, at least for short flings.

Thanks to a looks-based economy and an à la carte selection of hunks on dating apps, a physically average (let alone below average) beta male just doesn't do it in 2017 or beyond. Superficial factors that didn't enter the equasion in past decades have now become dealbreakers for many women (e.g. having an average build, having the wrong eye color, being slightly overweight, being shy at first etc).

Many women would rather wait months (or years) for their turn to have a shot at one of those hot, if cheating Chadbros than to settle for a potentially more faithful but less attractive male.


Responding favourably to a beta male's courtship is not an appealing proposition for most women. That would, in a way, signal failure. What would her friends think if she settled for Beta Billy? After all, her friends are married to knock-off George Clooneys and budget Tom Cruises. Beta Billy might be a great father, a man of considerable intellect, and various other positive attributes but he just doesn't turn her on - and that's her prerogative (see Table 1). That's all well and good, but since this is a megatrend by now, the societal effects of this phenomenon should receive more attention.

Also, being an emotionally available man is in many cases a turn-off for women in post-millennial times. A nurturing male ends up in a dysfunctional relationship at best, where the woman subconsciously loathes him for being effeminate and submissive, of "not being man enough". These effects might unfold slowly, but they will become apparent even to the outside world just a few years into relationship. There is, after all, no template for "a real woman" but women are free to call males they perceive as flawed in some respect as "not real men".

Table 1. A comparison of what usually makes modern men and women attractive to the opposite sex. 

Attractive Men Attractive Women
Low bodyfat percentage Beautiful at every size
Must be taller than average Height doesn't matter
Must earn a lot of money Income doesn't matter
Needs masculine features. Large jaw, chin, and inset

"psychopath eyes" are preferred.

Facial aesthetics can be feminine, masculine,

or a combination of the two

Must have robust skeletal structure Can have thin/malnourished bone structure
Must be muscular Fitness level doesn't matter
Makeup not acceptable Use of make up is encouraged
Heels/lifts considered a pathetic form of compensating Heels are acceptable
Must hide emotional activity even in relationships.

"He just wasn't stable enough for me"

"Man up, bitch!"

"That's not how a real man acts!"

Can openly flaunt emotions without being judged.

All women are "real women".

Women's standards have long ago left the stratosphere. In 2015, a University of Western Sydney study confirmed all this. In a survey of 5500 singles from around the world, women were demonstrated to be much pickier than men when it comes to standards for attraction. The study leader Peter K. Jonason concluded: “Women are likely to be more selective about their relationship partners to avoid costly impregnation by low-quality mates”. Therefore an increasing amount of beta males will not get anywhere near the gene pool. This is one of the reasons why the birth rates are dwindling in the west. Japan, too, is struggling with so-called herbivore men, a major portion of the male population who have completely isolated themselves from the reproductive process. 
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Beta boys are going extinct. The lonely loser spree-killers are a minuscule tip of the iceberg. This phenomenon has its roots in failed parenting and/or unreachable standards set by popular culture. In a world where charisma is everything, a massive generation of passive "junk males" is currently brewing in its figurative basements. These guys, who represent the majority of their demographic, won't be getting any dopamine fixes in the form of job market success - let alone finding themselves in relationships. Naturally, there are some outliers in the mix, but the human experience for most modern beta males is cold and unforgiving. Betaphobia is real.

The Beta Male Next Door

A sobering look into the modern beta life is in a once-popular blog of a food reviewer, one Wilkes McDermid who couldn't handle the current social climate and jumped to his death in London. Wilkes was but one of the thousands of beta males who end it every year. A much larger portion of this male demographic suffers in silence with their mental health faltering under the stresses of non-stop loneliness and despair. Future losers are born every minute. As amusing as it may be to better social classes, this is not good for society.

Behind many school shootings are socially rejected individuals with zero romantic prospects, often due to their low level of physical attractiveness. Most of the time, one is ostracized from social groups if he or she is an eye sore. It's a statement on one's looks, which are mostly determined by factors outside of one's control. This understandably builds extreme resentment in most individuals afflicted with sub-par genetics.

Screen Shot 2015 12 03 at 8 01 45 pm

What a difference some extra bone makes.

The Internet doesn't help as it's been socially isolating people since the mid-nineties. All of this will result in increased drug and alcohol abuse and a lot of men checking out of society - and indeed life - altogether. The gender-gap in suicide is massive on a global scale. In America, men die 3.5 times more from suicide than women. In Europe as a whole, the male-to-female suicide ratio is an astounding 4 to 1.

While this may please some, the suicide epidemic alone will result in a worse situation for all layers of society. Less taxpayers means less government funded programs. Less men in society means less emphasis on infrastructure and other vital core services such as plumbing and electric grid maintenance, because it's mostly men who are drawn into these professions. The popular narrative of "male = evil, female = good" is an oversimplification of the highest degree.

As men are often encouraged to simply take the pain, society may not address these issues in time. The resulting instability (including terrorism) will increase every single year until we as a whole change our priorities. This is not likely to happen without a major global cataclysm and the prevailing decadence is likely to repeat itself at some point in the far future - it seems we just cannot not like shiny things and superhunks.

Things to remember as a beta:

  • When rejected, your substance (values, talents, interests) may not be at stake. Humans usually respond to your physique first and your personality second. Substance comes last.
  • Most inventors behind modern technology were pretty beta.
  • Use self-deprecating humor to your advantage.
  • Have no shame in your lack of game.